Home from the hospital

Okay.. made it home from the hospital.. Surgery was fine and dandy. All went well. I feel great. I drank a whole shake today. Not in much pain at all. Plan on going to the gym tomorrow.

Surgery Day

1/2 hour till lift off... then off to turn in my big ole stomach and have it downsized into a pouch... Here is the start of my new life...

Mind, Body, and Soul…

Mind, Body, and Soul were discussing the fact that they were having R-N-Y Gastric Bypass Surgery to aid in their weight loss on Oct 5.

Body ecstatically says, “It is about time!” Body reminds them that this was why they had the three surgeries on their left foot two years ago. That it was so they could walk again to exercise. Body reminded them how hard it was to build their leg muscles back up enough to get the limp worked out (which was a short 6 months ago.) Body states how in March they had finally quit smoking to increase Body’s health! With Chantix’s help, kicking that stinky, unhealthy, expensive habit of smoking was made possible. Chantix had done the trick even though some of the dreams did get a bit too vivid by Mind’s standards. Knowing that Chantix had been a useful tool in the fight against smoking they are reassured that Bypass surgery will also be the useful tool against obesity they need.

All in all, Body and Mind decide this looks like a good thing towards their health for the rest of their life! Body states how tired she has been lugging all that extra weight around and the Knees are not getting any younger, as they are prone to say!

Mind says that the past few months make since now… the protein shakes, the lack of sugar, the fruits and veggies… Looking at each other, they realize they had already started their new life! Yes, there was room for improvement but the mind-set and actions were there towards better health. But then Stomach growls and pinches her sides in dejection. She glares at them since she is not happy with just liquids. Stomach was used to getting what she wanted… Spoiled she has been for so many years…

Mind just tells Stomach to quit acting immature, to pull her big girl panties up, and to just realize it is now time to pay that piper of delectable sweets! Now that the liquid diet is in its 12^th day, it is getting a bit into the extreme of things. Stomach pokes Body and whispers, “can’t we just have a little food just to chew on? You know I would stop hurting then” However, Mind explains to Stomach that shrinking the liver is important when Laparoscopic Surgery is used in the abdomen where the Stomach lies under the liver. Body concurs knowing it is all going to be worth it in the end and tells Stomach to shush.

Mind then says that losing weight will rid them of that confining, hissing CPAP machine as well as having their type II diabetes under control without medication. From years of eating fried fast food to overeating at buffets, Body has increasingly gotten sluggish, lazy, and fat. But now with the increase in benefits from eating healthy foods, taking Vitamin & Mineral supplements, and knowing good eating and exercising habits, Body sees a new life ahead that consists of stamina, strength, and health. Mind and Body are all for the surgery even though there may be deadly risks. Body knows it will be hard, but with the surgery, she feels that she finally has an even chance to beat this life of morbid obesity once and for all!

And in the corner, Stomach sulks over the straw sipping lunch she was given and repeatedly pinches her sides harder…

After glaring at Stomach, Mind can’t help but be worried about Body since the change will be permanent and affect her dramatically. There may be complications from surgery and it is not going to be easy since they are not a spring chicken any more. But Mind reassures herself that Body is tough having seen many a battle before and coming through it all in blazing colors.

Mind tells Body how she has already felt the fog lifting and things are looking sharper and brighter than they have in many a year. Mind is not discouraged this time with the new challenges ahead at losing weight. By knowing that the benefits will be reaped in a much shorter time, Mind feels optimistic toward everyone listening to her advice. All the online reading, behavioral classes, and thought-process lessons will all be crucial now that surgery will prevent any relapses at first. Mind began to feel hope and a sense of calm about her. Yes, it will be an uphill climb, but it wouldn’t be worth it if it weren’t. It is just that this time, it feels a bit more even with this new advantage on their side!

Mind is fine with getting ready for surgery with a total liquid diet. It helps her think and it helps body slim down a bit. The liquid diet allows Skin to loosen up so more room is available for the Doctor to work under.

Mind and Body sees this surgery as their all or nothing last-ditch effort to win this battle against that evil villain Fat and his sidekick Temptation! Mind tells Body that together they are going to do this. That it is time for Mind and Body to be taken care of. Body and Mind then spring out of their chairs cheering and clapping, showing their enthusiasm to begin this war together and thus triumph in a much smaller dress size!

Then… a loud laugh bursts from Soul… a creepy, sort of crazy, hysterical laugh startling Mind and Body into dumbfounded silence. They stare wide-eyed at Soul having forgotten her in the corner… they now see her head bent down, shaking it in disbelief… mumbling about ice cream, donuts, and chocolate… Raising her head once more, Soul starts laughing that laugh of hers and then points her finger at first Mind and then Body! “Fools!” she screams, “Do you really think that you can live without your precious ice cream? What are you planning to do when you smell popcorn at the theater? How will you feel driving by The Pizza Place and hearing your name called repeatedly, louder and louder by the hot, cheesy, scrumptious pizza? What is so good about losing weight when we can have our cake and eat it too, as we have for decades? Don’t you remember all the hard tearful work we had done in years past to lose what, 20, 30 pounds? Then we see, what? 30 or 40 pounds come back to roost causing us to have gained more than what we had originally lost? Idiots!! Don’t you remember the gross sweaty exercises and the lack of flavorful food in minuscule serving sizes? Remember how the muscles burned and were sore for days?” Soul looks at them when a single tear slides down her cheek and then lowers her head once more…

Soul then says that Mind and Body need to fess up and state how they all love the taste of food for it’s own sake! “Shouldn't we appreciate what others have made for our enjoyment in satisfying our hunger and taste buds?” Stomach quits pinching her sides and with shining eyes, licks her lips. Mind and Body then realize that Soul is scared to lose her delicious comfort foods and sees Soul as an upset and terrified child. Soul then brings up Cookie who comforted them when they scrapped their knee at six. Soul reminisces over Cake and Ice Cream who had helped them celebrate their birthdays as well as everyone else’s they know. Soul reminds them of the Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts that brought their family together during the Holidays. Then Soul talked about the homemade dishes that were brought to comfort them when death had taken a loved one. “How can we turn our backs upon our love for Food and all that Food has given us over the years?” It is not Body or even Mind that used that food all those years in so many ways to sooth and calm Nerves. It was Soul, and they realize the weight it lays upon her as Soul just whimpers and curls up in a ball muttering repeatedly about the different ways food tastes…

It is at this moment that Mind and Body realize that Soul is not going to do well in her present state. They work out a plan to help her get off her dependency towards food by showing her alternate ways to look at the world… As time goes by, Mind has thought of images of being healthy, of an increased self-esteem, and that of building independence from foods. Body shows that a lack of sugar lowers the craving for it. Body also lets Soul see how Body is reacting to a liquid diet and how sustenance can come in many forms. Mind shows how to look upon food as a way to survive and not as a way to cope. Mind and Body have Soul write in a blog, have little baby treats, and listen very carefully to concerns so that they are able to help Soul completely and to help her adapt to this new way of life.

Soul now looks upon food as a way to stay alive. If she is bored, then she makes Body get up off the couch and do something. If Soul is sad, then she thinks about it and works out why she is sad and then comforts herself. Soul is now able to control some of her feelings with Mind’s help. It is a work in progress, but the feeling of being in control over thoughts, feelings, and actions is almost over whelming. It is like Utopia being offered for a change and that it in its self is a miracle. Soul can’t believe how much she has grown in such a short time. She feels confident, in control, and more at peace than she has been for years… It is as if the world is finally coming together and knows all will be well.

Mind, Body, and Soul are now ready for their journey to a new and better life together. They are for once working together and feel a determination they have never had before. Soul did weep for the foods that they will no longer eat, but knows that they only offered a fleeting enjoyment yet gave no benefits at all. Soul has learned that a Healthy Mind, Body, and Soul will reap benefits all day, every day. It is with this new conviction towards life that makes the days ahead a willing challenge.

Just sitting on the dock of the bay....

So here I sit waiting for the hour to go to the hospital. It has been a very long road. I have true confessions however, and that is that on Saturday I broke down and ate solid food. I had a sub. A most delious sub with yummy potato salad. I felt so guilty but then I can't change it now. Tomorrow I am to only drink clear liquids which means today was my last day for Diet Coke. Well actually I can drink it if it is flat from now on. Oh yum... NOT.. lol I will pack my bag after work tomorrow and clean up anything else that will need doing. I did all laundry tonight and cleaned. I am ready. Let the races begin!

Houston, all lights are green for GO!

Did the pre-op yesterday which consisted of blood taking and talking to the anesthesiologist. Had to bring all med bottles with me and since I buy my fish oil and calcium in large quantity bottles, I packed them all in a lunch carrier. It was easy to carry and I didn't look like a pill pusher while walking around the hospital.
I would have thought that I would be nervous by now but I am not. I am not dreading the future without fried foods. I am not scared on how it will be. I guess I am determined at this point to have this procedure and move on. I am looking at buying the Move game for PS3 to be used as my exercise venue. I have not done well in that area at all. I am moving more but not actually exercising like I should.
I can't remember if I posted my numbers earlier but my starting weight was 241. I am 5'1" and that puts my BMI at 48. I do have a lot of muscle, but mostly abdominal fat as seen in the before pictures. I weighed 217 just a minute ago which puts my total weight loss so far at 24 un-needed pounds . yay! I can see my neck a little bit now but my tummy feels all bloated. Diet Coke is what I will miss the most since carbonation is a no-no. It expands the stomach making it larger thus able to hold more food. I am not doing all this to have bubbles burst my bubble!

4 days, 4 hours, 18 min... till I need to be at the hospital

Saw the surgeon today. He had an operation on his phone and showed it to us. It was way cool. I feel even better having seen it. There is this stapler that has little teeny tiny staples that it places in two rows and then cuts in between causing the two sides to be stapled together neatly. We watched the stomach being detached from the little egg sized stomach and the intestine being reattached further down and the other end brought up to the new and improved, though much smaller egg sized stomach. The doctor then puts extra sutures where the intestine and the new stomach are attached just to double up the strenth of the attachment since gravity will be playing it's part.

I don't have to do the nasty cleansing out that the patients had to do a year ago. oh joy oh joy... *doing a little happy dance* I know they will feel cheated when they hear that one at work since several of my fellow workers had this procedure by the same doctor a year or more ago and had to do it. I just have clear liquids the day before and nothing after midnight.

After surgery I will be able to take my daily pills whole. Dr. M stated that they should never be crushed since they are all on a time release system. His confidence was very soothing as well. He kept reasuring me that it will be fine.

I am to arrive at the hospital at 5:30 in the a.m. After getting into the gown of their choice, getting hooked up to an IV, talking to the anesthesist, and doing all those other tasks, Dr. M said he wouldn't be surprised if we went into surgery around 7 am. He said if all goes as planned, he will be done by around 8 am. Then proceded to tell the Hubby that if he is in surgery for up to 2 hours it is still okay but at 3 hours... then he will know something went wrong. I didn't like hearing that part though. It reminded me of all the papers I had just initialed that says I understand how a number of incidents may cause my death... hmmm....

So here I am all ready to go have this done. No second thoughts... no regrets... just wanting it done so I won't want to eat. My stomach is killing me... Liquid diets suck.