Eat to live, don't live to eat!

Today is the first official day of my new life!

First off, I am way over weight with a BMI of 45 and have been trying to lose weight ever since I was 21.  I keep gaining more weight every year, diet after diet, and have put my foot down to stop the cycle.  The first step was to correct my left foot so that I could exercise.  I had real bad heel spurs and other issues with my left foot which resulted in having 3 different procedures all done together on Oct 6th 2008 to get me walking again.  It still hurts with weather changes but I don't limp anymore!  woo hoo.   I have done my research, have gotten all my paperwork in, met the surgeon, and am now just waiting for the insurance to okay the Roux-en-Y-gastric bypass surgery to lose weight.  I am probably looking at having it some time in July.  

I am starting my journal since I started my exercise program today and today is the last day for enjoyment of food and carbonation.  I am adopting the *eat to live, don't live to eat* motto!   My mother told me this when she was trying to lose weight many years ago.  

My mental awareness...

I have thought this over and have come to realize that I look at food as entertainment.  A quick way for comfort and enjoyment.  Just throw a snack or something yummy in my mouth for a fast way to feel better by the taste of the food itself and not because I am hungery.  I don't want to get my enjoyment anymore from eating but rather from living!  I have become sluggish, lazy, and just don't want to be around people anymore.  I am ashamed of myself, I feel others think that I am repulsive for being overweight, and want to hide from everyone.  What my goal is to be able to feel better about myself, not tire out while walking in the grocery store for 20 minutes, and to be able to wear high heels again with clothes bought off the rack.  To do this, I am adapting a different way of looking at food.  It is just gas for my engine and if I over fill my tank, it is just being wasted.

My physical regime...

I went to the small exercise room in my apartment complex.  It is not a long walk to the exercise room with about a 12 step stair leading down to the sidewalk which goes about a forth of the way around a pond to the pool area where the exercise room is located.  There are 2 treadmills, 1 bicycle, a stair stepper, a skiing machine, and free weights with a bench.  There is also a flat screen TV too but I took a book to read.  Taking it easy on my first day, I walked on the treadmill for a whole 6.5 minutes and then the bicycle for about 7 minutes.  Not much of a workout but I stopped when my legs were hurting since I didn't want to over do it.  It is a start though and every day I will get better and better.  I love to weight train so I will put a bit of that in my workout too.  I want to tone up while I lose my flab so it won't look like I just melted and it slid downwards!  LOL  My goal is to exercise 6 days a week working up to 40 minutes a day and if I am not cooking & eating then I will have plenty of time to do this.  I have figured out that right after work works best and helps reduce my stress level as well.

My nutrition...

The surgery calls for a protein drink diet for 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after surgery.  I am told that after the surgery my tastes for food will change.  I will not be able to tolerate high sugars, fat, fried, or carbonation.   I will have to take chewable vitamins twice a day with a calcium supplement as well for the rest of my life.  Since my stomach will be much smaller and part of my small intestine will be removed, not only will my intake of food be greatly reduced but also the means to absorb what I do eat.  Now, believe it or not but I hate eating breakfast and lunch at work.  I don't like to pack it, I hate trying to plan for it, and then I usually end up just nibbling all day on it, which is not good!   I am going to get the shakes early and see if I can just do them at work.  It will be easier and will help me keep on track.  I am, as I write, drinking my last diet coke.  I will be switching to just water for now.  I like to drink water so I don't see that as a problem.  What I see as a problem is staying awake in the mornings without my caffeine!  LOL..  My body will adapt and with my exercising I am also hoping to increase my metabolism which will counteract the lack of energy from a decaffeinated low calorie diet.

This journal will be my way of making me log everything, keep exercising, and keep me honest.  I will also be taking pictures to log my progress.   

This was one heck of a long post!  I guess I had a lot to say on my first day...